Chicken soup for Broken Souls (BOYS VERSION)
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Well, I am going to start with a story. When I was studying 4th STD A section, I went for oratorical competition. I was asked to talk about five tourist’s places in India. I happily began speaking about Hotel Sarvana bhavan and my favorite dishes there and then I spoke little cricket, my granny’s home and concluded saying "these are very few tourists places in Chennai. Like this places you have many more in India.I will tell you when my daddy takes me there ". As I was a cute chubby kid, teachers were super flattered. One of the teachers kissed me on my cheeks that I felt puppy shame in the public.
Later, I grew up and this habit of rambling out grew faster with me. So I pretended not to poke my nose in any sort of things unless they force me to do so. All the teachers have a bad habit of questioning the sleeping child. As I slept in all math classes, the teacher would not only disturb my blissful sleep, she would ask me to proceed solving the problem from the last step she left on the board . I said you before, I always pretend as if nothing had happened and I would continue staring at her thinking "why the hell you ask me to do so despite so many bright students here". As a result I spent most of the maths class outside the class room. Now, this sane thing continues in the college too .Hence, I stopped sheepishly staring at them and began questioning which gave them nightmares. Finicky teachers understanding my awesomeness, they beg me to sleep in the class to avoid me knocking their balls.
Yeah, I get you I was supposed to tell you short story here. Never mind that. I say you, I can't speak or write relevantly to any topics given to me. I speak as the words starts to flow out of my head.So, I had to talk this much before the commencement of the actual motive for this post.
If girls reading this post. You shall stop here. From this part, I am going to talk like a bit male-chauvinist. I don’t mind if you are going to think I am gay. Remember, I am awesomaticaly aweome. :)
So, guys I love you. My monotonous days were entertained by my friends and they were entertained by "Friends". Every day they speak about this serials and it gets me pissed off..Actually Friends or Big bang theory don’t entertain as much as Cartoon network and Disney XD . A word which a girl says have six thousand meanings in seven hundred contexts. When you text girl "Hey" , her brain works so fastly than at an instant it pop out with thirty reasons for your message and three hundred varieties of replies. Remember all these things happens in a fraction of second.
So guys, if you are managing your relationship so perfectly; be glad that you are good psychoanalyst who can predict the mercurial minds of girls. And my advice to you people is to break up with your current girl friend. Then fall in love with other girl because this gives a wide exposure in dealing any girl. This could be a proud which you shall modestly put it in your resume. Later when you are jobless and this experiences could help you to become a date doctor like Will Smith in Hitch.
And for soup boys I have my personal suggestion. You shall not do any silly things like burning your ex's photo and flush it in the toilet or calling and swearing for her actions. Instead you can pee on her photo and go to any night club, get yourself boozed then click some hot pics with girls over there.
Now comes the master move- you upload those pics on facebook and ask your friends to like your pics. This could make her to feel jealous about you and she would call you after seeing so many likes and comments on the pics. This is to check you sanity. You should be very careful now.
When she gives you a ring; don't get excited and pick her call in first ring itself. As this would be the first signal of your desperateness will make her put over scene. So make her wait as long as possible. Remember the more you make her wait, the more your coolness increases. Pick her call before she restlessly hangs-up. You can feel her voices pleading for your love.I wish you shall not get swayed by emotional melodrama. Just tell her "Fuck you!..Be my slut" and cut the call without listening to her. Because, she will cry to achieve anything..
Now have some beer and feel proud that you have ditched a super computer which screws you for life time.
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